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by Sunny Fri Apr 26, 2013 9:33 am
A Teacher Asks her students a Question : There are three birds on a tree, If you shoot one of them, how many birds would remain ?? Pintu raise his finger, Teacher Says yes pintu
Pintu said : No birds would remain ma'm, because after hearing the noise of shooting all the birds will fly away,

Teacher says, No you are wrong, but I like the Way you are thinking.
Suddenly Pintu said I want to ask you a question? Teacher said ofcourse U can.

Pintu asked : There are three lady at the Ice-cream parlour, one of them is eating it, the other one is licking it and the third one is sucking it, Please Tell me which lady is married out of them,

Teacher shocked but she answered : I guess the Lady Who is sucking the Ice-cream is a married,
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Pintu Said : No U R wrong, The Lady who is wearing the wedding ring in her finger is a married woman, But I like the Way You are Thinking !!!!!!!
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."


A young Native American boy approaches to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named ˜Mighty Stormh?
Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.
Well, why is my sister named ˜Cornflower?
Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her.
And why is my other sister called ˜Moonchild?
We were watching the moonlanding while she was conceived...

Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?

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One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle.

She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him what he did for sex.

'What's that?' he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said 'Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree.'

'Tarzan, you have it all wrong,' she says horrified, 'but I will show you how to do it properly.'

She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.

'Here,' she said, 'You must put it in here.'

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.

Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, 'What the hell did you do that for?'

'Just checking for bees,' said Tarzan.

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This guy has a pet duck that he takes with him wherever he goes. One day the guy's out with his duck and he notices a new movie theater in the neighborhood, and as it turns out, they're playing a movie he's been wanting to see for a while, so he decides to go in. He walks up to the counter to buy his ticket, but the kid at the booth says, "Sorry, buddy, this is a movie theater. You can't bring that duck in here." The guy thinks, "No way am I gonna walk all the way home with this duck and come all the way back." He happens to be wearing loose-fitting trousers, so he walks around the corner, stuffs the duck down his pants, and comes back and gets his ticket. He goes into the auditorium and sits down next to two old ladies. The picture starts, and after a while the duck starts to get a little claustrophobic, so he unzips the guy's fly with his beak and pops his head out. By and by, one of the old ladies notices there's something funny going on with their neighbor's crotch. She leans over to her friend and whispers, "Eunice!The guy next me has his fly down, and his you-know-what is sticking out!" "Oh, Marge," say the other old lady. "At your age, you've been around the block or time or two. What's the big deal-- if you've seen one of those things, you've seen 'em all." "Well, that's what I would have said," says Marge. "But this one's eating my popcorn."
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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year
when we decided to get
married. My parents helped us in every way, and my
friends encouraged me.
My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one
thing bothering me.
That one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight
miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend d! own when near My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year
when we decided to get
married. My parents helped us in every way, and my
friends encouraged me.
My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one
thing bothering me.
That one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight
miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend d! own when near
me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister calls and asked me to come
over to check the wedding
invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married,
and she had feelings and
desires for me that she could not overcome and did
not really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just
once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if
you want to go ahead
with it just come up and get me." I was stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. When she reached

the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and! went
straight to the front
door. I opened the door and stepped out of the
house and walked straight
toward my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With
tears in his eyes, he
hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have
passed our little test. We could not ask for a better man for
our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

The moral of this story is.....
Always keep your condoms in your car.
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A Little boy was so Jealous of his new born Brother that he put poison on Ni**le of his mom while she was asleep
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Next Day Their Driver Died..

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MINISTER 2 WIFE:
Tum sach sach batao, kitni bar humse bewafai ki ho?
WIFE: kul 3 bar..
MINSTR: kab kab?
WIFE: Jab aapka heart operation hua tab Doctor ke pas gai..
Fir jab aap jail gaye tab judge ke paas gai..
Minister: Aur teesri baar?
Wife: Jab aapko sarkaar banaani thi aur 77 MLA kam pad rahe the



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